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Would you rather talk with friends about your marriage problems, mental health, addictions, sex, and politics than money?Based on my experience I’d say most of you are thinking – yep!

April 29, 2020

Would you rather talk with friends about your marriage problems, mental health, addictions, sex, and politics than money?

Based on my experience I’d say most of you are thinking – yep! Women I know and have worked with have very much kept their money shame, lack of confidence and knowledge, on the down low.

The problem is, research shows that being uncomfortable talking about money is something we need to get over, if we want to improve financial literacy, especially women.

But why do we feel this way?

An easy, obvious answer is that money conversations can make people uncomfortable.  There’s often a real ickiness about raising conversations about money. Talking about things like income and how much you own can bring up feelings of jealousy, resentment, embarrassment and other similar flavoured emotions. We want to avoid feeling those feelings ourselves as well as triggering them in someone we care about.

Even if your relationship with money is quite positive, financial conversations are often thought of as ‘taboo’ topics. You’ll more than likely stay away from this topic altogether no matter where you are, financially.

Why Talking About Money Helps

As Brene’ Brown shares in her book ‘Daring Greatly’, shame thrives in the dark so we need to bring the issues out into the light, acknowledge them and talk about them.

The more you talk about money and the issues you have with it, the less alone you may feel, particularly if you discover others share similar issues. 

Having these conversations more often will make you feel less embarrassed or ashamed about your finances. It will also show your loved ones that they can feel safe talking about money around you. Not only will you be helping yourself, but you’ll be helping them too. 

So, that’s why we’re all about talking about money. You can take small first steps, like casually mentioning that you’re reading a money blog or book, or mention you’ve just created a budget. From there, you can build up how often you talk about money, who you  talk to, and which topics to focus on. 

Arming yourself with financial knowledge will also increase your confidence.


Examine Your Own Money Discomfort

It’s true that external factors such as friends, family, advertising and marketing have made an influence on the way you feel about money.  

Most of us have also created our own unique hang ups around money. These are typically developed from our parents’ money habits or from a traumatic experience relating to money in our early years. It could also be related to past mistakes you’ve made – we tend to be very critical of ourselves when it comes to money!

Your shame, avoidance or discomfort may also have been caused from others being judgmental towards you. 

Whatever your money-avoidance is, it’s important you understand it so you can move forward.

Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help

If you don’t feel comfortable talking with a friend or family member about your money baggage, hang-ups or successes, a Money Coach is well equipped to have these conversations and provide a safe, supporting and judgement-free space to unpack your relationship with money or to help you take your first steps towards setting and achieving your financial goal.

Money is an integral part of our lives, affecting our relationships, self-esteem, health, career and families, so whether we want to or not, we all have a relationship with money – so we might as well make it a good one.  Talking about money is the first step !



Karen Eley is a financial coach with more than 20 years’ experience as a financial adviser. Through her business, Women Talking Finance, she helps women to be confident and knowledgeable about all things finance. Karen translates complex financial concepts into simple digestible ideas.

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