Own Your Money Story: 7 powerful questions to unlocking your money story

Your current financial position is the result of many factors. But a major influence in your financial life is your psychological relationship with money. We call this your ‘money story’.

April 22, 2021


“You either walk inside  your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your  worthiness”
 - Brene Brown



Your current financial position is the result of  many factors.

But a major influence in your financial life is your  psychological relationship with money. We call this your ‘money story’.

What is a ‘money  story’?

In essence, it  is how you think, feel and behave with money. It is your own personal money  narrative that you tell yourself. It is your money mantras you believe deep  down. It is your financial philosophy that you live by.

The problem is  many of us have money stories that don’t serve us. They were formed in early  childhood, passed down from our parents, society and other influential  figures in our life. Regrettably, these emotive money-centered experiences,  feelings, language and beliefs stay with us, often unconsciously.

So, why is this  important? Well, it is these deep-seated thoughts and feelings that silently  influence our spending and savings habits, and money management throughout  our life. The fact is, your financial position today is the result of your  money story. It’s just the way it is.

Wealth is a  state of mind, and your perception about money will be as unique as your  fingerprint.

How do you re-write  your money story?

Most people are  completely unaware of the secret drivers that control their financial decisions – their money story. The question is, how do we become more aware  of these entrenched beliefs and behaviours?

Let’s find out!

The first step  to change your relationship with money is to own your money story. You can do  this by better understanding how it was formed and what it’s costing you.

When the answers to these questions become clear, the decision to write a new  money story becomes compelling.

These 7 key  questions can help you unlock your money script – the broken record you tell  yourself over and over again about what you really think about money.

So, get out  your pen and start scribbling down answers to these questions. Dig deep, be  honest, and don’t filter any of your answers. Being truly vulnerable and candid is where the gold is!  

Question  1: What was it like financially, growing  up in your family? E.g. Did your parents complain about never having enough  or was there an abundance of money? Did they fight over their finances, or  did they never speak about it?  Were  you financially comfortable or did you go without?


Question  2: What are 3 things you learned about  money from your mother?


Question 3: What  are 3 things you learned about money from your father?  If you didn’t have a mother/ father, what  did you learn from the people who raised you?


Question 4: What is your earliest memory about  money?  Think school banking, finding  money in the sofa, a money box, a financial gift. Now think about the  emotions you felt around this memory – were they positive or negative?  What did you tell yourself about, or take  away from this event or experience?


Question 5: What emotions did your family  associate with money?  Were they  similar for both of your parents, or were they conflicting?  How do you think their behaviours have  shaped your financial patterns today?


Question 6: What do you believe about wealthy  people?  What evidence from your  childhood do you have to support this belief?


Question 7: Did your family or someone close to  you, experience a significant financial event during your early years? A job loss, an illness causing a parent unable to work, loss of a home or business,  a significant financial windfall, overwhelming debts.  

How did you and your family navigate this event?  

Describe the emotions coming up  for you reflecting on this time in your life.


Reinventing your money story


So, how did you go? What did you learn about yourself and your money story?

I imagine you’ve never asked yourself these questions nor taken the time to deeply reflect on these memories.  


It can be hard and if emotions like grief, anxiety,  guilt, shame, sadness or fear come up for you. I want you to know, these are  all very common emotions when delving into your money story. I also want you  to know, you didn’t choose your story – you inherited it from your family.  None of it was your fault, but it is now your responsibility.


What financial behaviours and patterns are holding you back? What are they costing you?


With this newfound realisation and awareness, you can decide to write a new money story that sets you free from the limiting beliefs  of the past.


Ready to rewrite your money story? Hell yes! Grab that pen, get creative and get writing!  

As adults, we often need to unlearn what we learned as children.


Question  1: Can you clearly see how your childhood  perceptions and beliefs about money have influenced your financial patterns and behaviours as an adult? What are the new patterns and behaviours you need  to adopt instead? What do you need to learn, practice or change to live these behaviours?


Question  2: What do you want your new money story  to look like? How do you want to feel about money? What new thoughts about  money do you need to adopt and what ones do you need to let go of?


Question  3: Write down all the things in life you  are financially grateful for. For example, it could be your ability to earn a  good income, eat well, take holidays, pay your bills or even the home you  live in. Express gratitude rather than focusing on what you currently don’t  have.



Money story activity:

Write in prose a new money story. This  should include your thoughts, feelings, dreams and ambitions and about money.

Include 3 goals that you would like to  achieve with your new money story. E.g. To learn about, and invest in shares  within 12 months, to save for a holiday once a year, to earn and save enough  money to retire stress-free in 20 years.

Unfortunately, we can’t just dream  ourselves into our desired financial position. It takes work, consistency and  commitment to meet a financial plan.

Share your story with someone you trust  and who will hold you accountable on your journey toward financial  empowerment.


You don’t have  to go-it alone


Financial behaviours and patterns are hard to break, as most likely, they’ve been with you for years.

Awareness and education are keys  to building good money habits and ultimately wealth. However, we get that understanding the world of managing money (and your emotions) can be daunting. So, what can you do?

Simple. Get the support your need.

Here at Women Talking Finance, we’re seasoned  at helping our clients take control of their money. Think of us as your financial  money coach who’s got your back, every step of the way. If you’re not sure where to start, check us out. Remember, if you love your money, it will love you back.


Interested in putting your new money story into  action? Contact us today.



Karen Eley is a financial coach with more than 20 years’ experience as a financial adviser. Through her business, Women Talking Finance, she helps women to be confident and knowledgeable about all things finance. Karen translates complex financial concepts into simple digestible ideas.

Learn More (whilst you're there, check out the freebies)

more resources

Own Your Money Story: 7 powerful questions to unlocking your money story

Your current financial position is the result of many factors. But a major influence in your financial life is your psychological relationship with money. We call this your ‘money story’.

Read More
10 Ways to Love your Money

All good relationships need to be nurtured and have time and effort invested in them to grow and thrive. The same is true for your money. Love is an emotion we have access to, but it’s also something we can learn. This means that even if you don’t have the greatest relationship with your finances, you can choose to change it by practicing these 10 actions. Here’s my 10 ways to love and get closer with your money. ‍

Read More
Life-changing money advice for couples

Couples' money issues usually go much deeper than a budget spreadsheet, mortgage, or bank balance and often lay below the surface of a relationship.

Read More