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CHANGE YOUR QUESTIONS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Working as a financial coach, I know the impact and power, of asking quality questions.‍ Are things not going quite the way you’d like them to, or you’re feeling stuck? Maybe you’re not asking yourself the right questions.

November 14, 2020

Working as a financial coach, I know the impact and power, of asking quality questions.

Are things not going quite the way you’d like them to, or you’re feeling stuck?  Maybe you’re not asking yourself the right questions.

We can get caught in the trap of accepting our current circumstances, which keeps us in jobs we don’t enjoy, stories that hold us back, difficult relationships, financial mediocrity and less than optimal health.

The problem is when we lose consciousness of what truly fulfills us, we simply go through the motions, dissatisfied and joyless—despite having played an active role in the life we created.

Empowering questions will help you

·      change direction

·      inspire action

·       gain a new perspective.

If you're ready, here's a few questions to ask yourself....

What do you want your life to be about ?

Big question hey ? if that’s too overwhelming, think of what your life is about today, that you don’t like.  Because if you can language what’s notworking, you can look for the contrast to build on what you do want.  We seem to be pretty good at knowing what we don’t want our life to be about – one serves as a reference point for the other.

The very next question must be …..

What are you willing to do or tolerate to live your ideal life?

Nothing is enjoyable or uplifting all of the time, life just doesn’t work like that.  So, the question becomes, what sacrifices are you willing to make to realise your ideal life?

It’s been said that in order to achieve the great you have to give up the good. This means you have to make hard choices and forego stuff (time, instant gratification, lifestyle) that give you pleasure today, for your best tomorrow.

What haven’t I taken the time to learn?

Leaders are readers.

Learning a new skill, information, or thinking expands our mind, cultivates quality conversations and knowledge.  This can lead to better habits, being a great role model for your children or family, stress reduction, connection with others, and of course… it would be remiss of me not to include, better financial results!

The older we get, the harder it is to learn a new skill – hey don’t shoot the messenger, it’s just science, so if books aren’t your thing, try podcasts, webinars or courses.

 

Who do I admire most in the world?

When you think of people you admire, make a list of the qualities they have.  Reflect on these qualities and think of ways that you can incorporate their behaviours into rituals you practice.

Do you know anyone that’s in the financial position you wish you had? notice the behaviours, traits, attributes and standards they live by.  If you want what others have, the easiest way to get there is to model and learn from them.

Know that, what you admire about others is also a quality that is in you - you just may not have brought it to light yet.

Am I being true to my values?

Do you ever get that nagging feeling that something’s out of alignment? This happens when little behaviours creep up on you that encroach on your values. If connection and quality time with your family is a value of yours, but you stay late at work or fill your time with other activities, there’s a conflict and misalignment.

 Take an audit of your values and ask yourself how much of your time and money to you spend living them.

 

I’ve saved the hardest question to last …..

What’s stopping me from doing the things I should be doing?

It’s easy to default, shrug your shoulders and think, “I don’t know,” but that’s just being lazy. Most of the time, we know exactly what we should be doing; we just aren’t willing to move the obstacles out of the way or stay stuck in procrastination or fear.

 

There’s also the concept of ‘secondary gains’ which are the benefits (these often lay hidden, pulling us down without even realising it) we get from not doing what we should do.

For example, if we’re judgmental of wealthy people, we could avoid creating our own wealth to avoid being judged by others.  The secondary gain = being protected from judgement or criticism.

 

Asking these questions can be challenging or confronting, and they also require an investment of your time – but hey, there’s no growth staying in your comfort zone.

“Questions are creative acts of intelligence” Francis Kingdon Ward

Warmest,

Karen Eley is a financial coach with more than 20 years’ experience as a financial adviser. Through her business, Women Talking Finance, she helps women to be confident and knowledgeable about all things finance. Karen translates complex financial concepts into simple digestible ideas.

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